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a Bulrovian tale
adapted by Rick Walton
Long before my nose froze and fell off there little a boy named Bibbity. He lived in a warm country where there were icebergs and snowdrifts and polar bears to eat your sandwiches. Now Bibbity was always wondering about things, and one day he said to his foot:
"I wonder, oh, I do do wonder what is the strongest thing in the world."
But his foot could not tell him, so Bibbity started off together to find out.
He went a long, long way, just next door, and at last he came to a banana peel. Onto the banana peel he stepped. Up into the air flew Bibbity. Down to the ground he fell, SPLAT!.
"Oh, banana peel, you are the strongest thing, are you not?" said Bibbity. "You are able to throw Bibbity to the ground."
"No, I am not as strong as the giraffe," sighed the banana peel, "it was the giraffe that threw me here."
Then Bibbity crawled and crawled far away to the place where the giraffe was picking bananas, and he said:
"Oh, Giraffe, the banana peel threw Bibbity, but you threw the banana peel. Are you not the strongest one?"
"No, I am not the strongest one," said the giraffe. "The hill threw me when I tried to dance on it."
So Bibbity skipped and skipped until he came to a high hill, and to the hill he said:
"Oh, Hill, the banana peel threw Bibbity, and the giraffe threw the banana peel, but you are able to throw the giraffe. Are you not the strongest one?"
"Not I," said the hill. "For last week an earthquake threw me."
So Bibbity hopped and hopped until he came to the earthquake, who was making milkshakes, and he said:
"Oh, Earthquake, the banana peel threw Bibbity, and the giraffe threw the banana peel, and the hill threw the giraffe, but you threw the hill. Are you not the strongest one?"
"Not I," said the earthquake, "for it was an ant tromping on me that caused me to throw the hill."
So Bibbity jumped and jumped until he came to an ant, who was carrying a rhinocerous home for dinner. Bibbity said:
"Oh, Ant, the banana peel threw Bibbity, and the giraffe threw the banana peel, and the hill threw the giraffe, and the earthquake threw the hill, but you tromped and caused the earthquake. Are you not the strongest one?"
"Not I," said the ant, "for the magnifying glass burns me."
So Bibbity galloped and galloped until he came to the magnifying glass, who was burning its name into a turtle shell. Bibbity spoke:
"Oh, Magnifying Glass, the banana peel threw Bibbity, and the giraffe threw the banana peel, and the hill threw the giraffe, and the earthquake threw the hill, and the ant tromped and caused the earthquake, but you can burn the ant. Are you not the strongest one?"
"Not I," said the magnifying glass, "for the giant eye can see right through me."
So Bibbity strolled and strolled until he came to a giant eye, which was rolling along the ice looking for fun. Bibbity said to the eye:
"Oh, Giant Eye, the banana peel threw Bibbity, and the giraffe threw the banana peel, and the hill threw the giraffe, and the earthquake threw the hill, and the ant tromped and caused the earthquake, and the magnifying glass can burn the ant, but you can look through the magnifying glass. Are you not the strongest one?"
"Not eye," said the giant eye, "for the dust speck can get in me and make me cry."
So Bibbity swam and swam until he finally found a dust speck floating in the air. And Bibbity said:
"Oh, Dust Speck, the banana peel threw Bibbity, and the giraffe threw the banana peel, and the hill threw the giraffe, and the earthquake threw the hill, and the ant tromped and caused the earthquake, and the magnifying glass can burn the ant, and the eye can look through the magnifying glass, but you can make the eye cry. Are you not the strongest one?"
But the dust speck flew into Bibbity's left eye and made it cry. Then it flew into Bibbity's right eye and made it weep. Then the speck climbed into Bibbity's clothes and made him itch all over.
So Bibbity cried, "I have found the strongest one. It is the dust speck."
And little Bibbity stumbled home, scratching all the way.
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